Lonely

I have felt quite alone lately. It isn't all bad.
No matter if I am alone and ok with it, or lonely and not doing very well, I am thankful that I have a Savior who understands.

Sometimes I choose to be alone.
To hide. To be apart. This happens more and more the older I get. Perhaps due to being a stay at home, homeschooling mom for so many years I now find myself thoroughly enjoying time alone every now and then.

And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone...

Sometimes I am just lonely, whether with or without people. It can sometimes feel like a deep sorrow.

Then Jesus went with them to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to his disciples, "Sit here, while I go over there and pray." And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, "My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me." And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, "My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will." And he came to the disciples and found them sleeping. And he said to Peter, "So, could you not watch with me one hour? Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak." Again, for the second time, he went away and prayed, "My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done." And again he came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were heavy. So, leaving them again, he went away and prayed for the third time...

Sometimes others simply can't join us. We must be alone--operating tables for instance, or job interviews.

And when they had crucified him, they divided his garments among them by casting lots. Then they sat down and kept watch over him there. And over his head they put the charge against him, which read, "This is Jesus, the King of the Jews." Then two robbers were crucified with him, one on the right and one on the left. And those who passed by derided him, wagging their heads and saying, "You who would destroy the temple and rebuild it in three days, save yourself! If you are the Son of God, come down from the cross." So also the chief priests,with the scribes and elders, mocked him, saying, "He saved others; he cannot save himself. He is the King of Israel; let him come down now from the cross, and we will believe in him. He trusts in God; let God deliver him now, if he desires him. For he said, 'I am the Son of God.'" And the robbers who were crucified with him also reviled him in the same way. The Death of Jesus Now from the sixth hour there was darkness over all the land until the ninth hour. And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, "Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?" that is, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

Jesus went to this sorrowful lonely place on the cross for me.
My pastor challenged us this last Sunday to see passages like this anew. To actually own it and ask Jesus, "How could you go through that suffering for me, Jesus?"

He challenged us to learn again how we can't earn God's favor by trying to do and be good - trying to help Him out on His cross. Only Jesus could earn God's favor for me and as these passages show, it was awful for Him.

Thank you Jesus, that you chose to love me so much; to hang alone on a cross and die for me. Help me to realize there is no room and no need for me on your cross to help pay for my sins because as you said,

"It is finished."

Sometimes those we love must go through things alone as well. It might be sorrowful, but the work that the Spirit can accomplish in that one-on-one time is less hindered. This is when we join with our prayers, trusting and agreeing with the Spirit that the work being done on this dear one's behalf is best.