Wednesday, February 29, 2012

oh, how things can change!

Hard to believe that one weekend away my husband Randy and I were having a self proclaimed perfect weekend away.
One week later...4 days ago, Randy had a stroke.

I haven't really allowed myself to feel anything but thankfulness along the way. The initial terror I felt was nearly incapacitating and I sho' 'nuf knew I needed to move my bad self along from that feeling. I have 5 kids after all.
Now, don't think it was anything I did. I just happened to realize I couldn't stay terrified or catatonic and God made Himself very big in the whole situation enabling me to see the next right thing to do and say and provided the strength to do it.

My husband is now home. It seems to me he had the best kind of stroke he could have had.... God placed that clot smack dab in the center of balance and vomit central in his cerebellum and He made it small enough that his symptoms are being overcome daily. He is less weak every day. He is hardly dizzy anymore. He does not see double. He is no longer vomiting. He is able to eat and walk and talk with nearly no slurring. He does have to think about what used to be automatic and everything he does is much slower.
I am going to take him to Physical Therapy today and they will continue to work on him.
I mentioned feeling nothing but thankful...

  • So thankful for my son in law Grant, an ER nurse, being with him and taking care of him when he first fell.

  • So thankful for family and friends and practical expressions of love and prayers.

  • So thankful for the nurses and doctors.

  • My sister from TN, and ICU nurse, was with me to listen to the first visit with the Neurologist.

It is strangely beautiful to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that in the midst of a storm you and all you love are being safely Held.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Valentines Weekend Away

Just got back from a weekend away for the first time in two years. My husband and I enjoyed one another on all levels. We went walking in the woods twice over the weekend. I ate what I wanted and what my surgery would allow. I drank good wine, hot-tubbed under the stars, made leisurely breakfasts each morning, visited some great restaurants along the river, watched a movie or two and saw many bald eagles flying over the Mississippi in Prairie Du Chien.
I even came home to a pretty clean house...we have great kids!
So thankful!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

the Sea Inside

Recently watched this movie....very profound. I would recommend it greatly!
I suppose I should share a bit more....Whatever you might feel about the right to die, I am sure this movie will bring out something from within you that you hadn't thought before.
My mother passed away many years ago. She chose to stop taking nourishment through her stomach tube and weighed less than 70 lbs when she died. She was a prisoner in her body, suffering from ALS. Her only means to communicate was blinking out concise messages to convey her needs. She had a sea inside of we all do.
I, for whatever reasons, had a life experience where I had to help care for my mom's very physical needs and watch her die while in college. Receiving from her the gracious life lessons one would never wish to have to teach their own child has filled me and made me who I am.